I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
