They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I think pants incapable of making pants work
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
