hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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