ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
