fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
