I want to stick my p in your. b.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
