its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize