The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
