I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
