i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
