cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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