My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
