you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
