Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize