does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize