? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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