halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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