he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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