So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
