I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
