I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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