I could make wine with my vomit
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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