Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
