all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I have feelings that need drinking.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
