I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
