Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
