cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm having to shit out rocks
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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