I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
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