Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
