dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
