is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
