id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
