i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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