He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I would ride that face into the sunset
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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