do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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