So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
