i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You are the jesus of drinking
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
