Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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