i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
