what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
