we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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