So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Boobs speak an international language.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
