I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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