Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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