We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
