i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
