My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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