I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
