i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
You can't special order awesome
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
