I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I wear drunk well.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
