New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
