32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize