Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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