escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
handjob tips. give me some.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
