Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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