Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
