Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
