The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
